Being a Secret Agent in the Lockdown it has been a tricky business and having to wear a mask great, as being up watching the repeats of Opening all hours, I now have Dark Circles under my eyes and feel I need that coffee before I go after Big Mac, he is one doggy bastard.
I miss my nights on the town and having Martini’s alround, I have no idea where my brother James is, sunning it I presume or like me sleeping with any lady, well that is not me, I am into a dark haired stranger, but you know I am a girl who likes to let her hair down, but another bomb has gone off in the london, cause Big Mac has gone after the casino world, because he can’t be part of that world, since he got banned from all of them.
So I am havint to send in one of my fello spies unknown to the spy world yet to descend in Dentistry as apparently Big Mac, on the side runs a dentist and how they get people by pulling peoples teeth out.
They’ve got an interview as Big Mac seems to have advertised that he needs a student dentist to help in his practice and has a secret camera on her so we can see him. So far I haven’t been able to get hold of his identity but McArther did and so we have an idea of what the big bastard lookslike and has a very think scottish accent, and wants to take over the Casino’s in London and then all over the world apparently.
I get a call from Mother M and I think for someone I hardly see she too is experiencing frustation in not being able to go for a Afternoon Tea, that she has with the Queen and other Royal contacts she has, and says “Bond what time is it?”
Have I really got to worry about the time in Lockdown? “Its almost eleven” I say trying to move my neck to the point i can almost see the clock beside my bed, “Right Jones, your slacking so get up as we need to have our usual Monday meeting and you need to get yourself together” hang on is this my mother pretending to be Mother M or is that Mother M trying to be my mother?
If you haven’t met my mother or my father in that instance, they always want to phone me when I am spying, as of course that is my job and when I am sometimes hanging upside down. They have no idea I am a spy and that I work for Mi6 and think I am a Secretary and so no it must be Mother M.
“I’m having some Lockdown Blues, and I just need a lazy day for once, being a spy Mother M is bloody hardwork, and watching UK Gold I have to think about my wellness. I am reading a self help book you know, called “How to make yourself happy” and it says “I have to spend days doing different things to the norm, and being someone who catches crooks and Swedish sharmers, I have to do that”
“Bond have I ever told you that I have read self help books?”
“No, you know why bond?”
“Because, Bond, I don’t, now do you know what will make me happy Bond?”
“Stop babbling, reading books for the lonely and get up and get to work, you are a spy so can you please do that Bond?” She seemed to be taking a sip of tea”No do I have days off?”
I get the hint and get yes get up.
That is the thing with my Spy world my phone never stops ringing and Mother M has patience for noone and so its all about getting back to work and that is that.
No rest for the wicked and that is me, I am all Cards, without the Women and a Spy who loves to dine and look after herself.
So See you in the next one.
I’ll Spy right at ya,
J Bond X